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THE
SUBMARINER'S
SEABAG There was a time
when everything you owned had to fit in your seabag. Remember those
nasty rascals? Fully packed, one of the
suckers weighed more than the poor devil hauling it.
The damn things weighed a ton and some idiot with an
off-center sense of humor sewed a carry handle on it to help you haul
it. Hell, you could bolt a handle on a
Greyhound bus but it wouldn't make the damn thing portable. The Army, Marines
and Air Force got footlockers and we got a big ole' canvas bag. After you
warped
your spine jackassing the goofy thing through a bus or train station,
sat on it waiting for connecting transportation and made folks mad
because it was too goddam big to fit in any overhead rack on any bus,
train and airplane ever made, the contents looked like hell. All your gear appeared to have come from bums
who slept on park benches. Traveling with a
seabag was something left over from the "Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum"
sailing ship days. Sailors used to sleep
in hammocks. So you stowed
your issue in a big canvas bag and lashed your hammock to it, hoisted
it on your shoulder and in effect moved your entire home and complete
inventory of earthly possessions from ship to ship.
I wouldn't say you traveled light because with one strap
it was a one-shoulder load that could torque your skeletal frame and
bust your ankles. It was like hauling a
dead linebacker. They wasted a lot
of time in boot camp telling you how to pack one of the suckers. There was an officially sanctioned method of
organization that you forgot after ten minutes on the other side of the
gate at Great Lakes or San Diego. You got rid of a lot of issue gear
when you went to the boats. Did you ever
know a smokeboat sailor who had a raincoat? A
flat hat? One of those nut hugger knit
swimsuits? How bout those roll your own
neckerchiefs...The ones the girls in a good Naval tailor shop would cut
down and sew into a 'greasy snake' for two bucks? Within six
months, every boat sailor was down to one set of dress blues, port and
starboard undress blues and whites, a couple of raghats, boots, shoes,
assorted skivvies a peacoat and three sets of leper colony-looking
dungarees. The rest of your
original issue was either in the tender lucky bag or had been reduced
to wipe down rags in the engineroom. Submarines were
not ships that allowed vast accumulation of private gear. Hobos who
lived in discarded refrigerator crates could amass greater loads of
pack rat crap than boatsailors. The
confines of a diesel boat side locker and a couple of bunk bags did not
allow one to live a Donald Trump existence. Space and the
going pay scale at the anchor end of the submersible social order
combined to make us envy the lifestyle of a mud hut Ethiopian. We were
the global equivalents of nomadic Monguls without ponies to haul our
stuff. And after the
rigid routine of boot camp we learned the skill of random compression
packing... Known by mother's world-wide as
'cramming'. It is amazing what you can jam
into a space no bigger than a breadbox if you pull a watch cap over a
boot and push it in with your foot. Of
course it looks kinda weird when you pull it out but they never hold
fashion shows at sea and wrinkles added character underwater appearance. There was a
four-hundred mile gap between the images on recruiting posters and the
actual appearance of submarine sailors at sea. It
was not without justifiable reason that we were called the 'sewer pipe'
Navy. We operated on
the premise that if 'Cleanliness was next to Godliness', we must be
next to the other end of that spectrum... We
looked like our clothing had been pressed with a waffle iron and packed
by a bulldozer. But what in the hell did they expect from a bunch of
jerks hot-sacking in a 'Hogan's Alley Hell Hole' on a contraption that
leaked like a screen door and smelled like a skunk jamboree? After a while you
got used to it... You got used to
everything you owned picking up and retraining that distinctive pig
boat aroma... You got used to old ladies
on busses taking a couple of wrinkled nose sniffs of your peacoat then
getting up and finding another seat... It
came with Dolphins. Do they still
issue seabags? Can you still make five
bucks sitting up half the night drawing a diesel boat and Dolphins on
the side of one of the damn things with black and white marking pens
that drive old master-at-arms into a 'rig for heart attack' frenzy? Make their faces red... The
veins on their neck bulge out... And yell,
"Jeezus H. Christ! What
in god's name is that all over your seabag?" "Artwork, Chief... It's like the work of Michelangelo... Dolphins... My boat... Great huh?" "Looks like some
gahdam comic book..." Here was a man
with cobras tattooed on his arms... A
skull with a dagger through one eye and a ribbon reading 'DEATH BEFORE
SHORE DUTY' on his shoulder... Crossed
anchors with 'Subic Bay 1945' on the other shoulder...An eagle on his
chest and a full blown Chinese dragon peeking out between the cheeks of
his butt. If anyone was an authority on
stuff that looked like a comic book, it had to be this E-8 sucker. Sometimes I look
at all the crap stacked in my garage, close my eyes and smile,
remembering a time when everything I owned could be crammed into a
canvas bag. Maturity is hell. |